Member Article

How to Build a Strong Support System During Divorce

Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT

The good news is that there are tangible ways to create a support system that can help you through the toughest moments. You don’t have to do this on your own.

1. Lean on Trusted Friends and Family

Now is the time to reach out to those who have your best interests at heart. It’s important to surround yourself with people who will listen without judgment, offer practical help, and remind you that you’re not alone. Don’t hesitate to ask for what you need—whether it’s a meal, someone to watch the kids, or just a comforting presence.

2. Join a Divorce Support Group

There’s something incredibly powerful about sharing your experience with people who understand exactly what you’re going through. Divorce support groups can provide a sense of belonging and validation, offering a safe space to talk openly about your struggles. These groups remind you that your feelings are normal and that others have been in your shoes and come out the other side.

3. Seek Professional Support

Whether it’s a therapist, a counselor, or a divorce mediator, having professional guidance can make a world of difference. Therapy can help you process the emotional aspects of divorce, while divorce mediation helps you work through the legal and logistical challenges in a way that’s fair and balanced for both parties. Mediation is especially beneficial because it encourages collaboration and helps avoid the emotional toll of a courtroom battle.

4. Engage in Self-Care Activities

Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being during this challenging time is crucial. Make it a priority to engage in self-care activities that recharge your spirit, whether it’s exercising, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing hobbies that bring you joy. These activities can serve as an outlet for stress and help you reconnect with yourself as an individual, providing the strength you need to navigate your new reality.

5. Create New Connections

Consider expanding your social network by seeking out new friendships and connections. This can be through community activities, classes, or even online forums. Engaging with new people who share your interests can introduce fresh perspectives and support, helping you to build a more diverse and resilient support system. Surrounding yourself with a variety of voices can enrich your experience and remind you that there’s a life beyond your current circumstances.

Take the First Steps Today

As a divorce mediator with over 30 years of experience, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful mediation can be in creating a more peaceful, respectful divorce process. Mediation allows both parties to have a say in the outcome, rather than letting the courts make decisions for you. It’s a more collaborative approach that helps reduce conflict, saves time and money, and focuses on finding solutions that work for everyone involved—especially when children are in the picture.

Not only does mediation make the process smoother, but it also helps preserve your dignity and emotional well-being. You’re not just walking away from a marriage—you’re building the next chapter of your life. Mediation gives you the tools to do that with clarity and confidence.

Divorce doesn’t have to mean isolation. With the right support system, you can navigate the challenges and come out stronger. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to seek out help. Whether it’s leaning on a friend, joining a group, or working with a mediator, every step you take brings you closer to healing.

Steven Unruh, MA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFT. He and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child support—along with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern California. Website: stevenunruh.com