Leanne Nettles, LMFT
President, LA-CAMFT

Help for the Helpers

Another school shooting.
Another church shooting.
Another hatred-fueled race-based massacre. 

I am writing this shortly after Memorial Day, and the news has been filled with tragedy after tragedy the past couple of weeks. I opened my browser to see a headline flash “U.S. marks Memorial Day weekend with at least 12 mass shootings.” I turned on YouTube to listen to some relaxing music while I write this and I see “Breaking News: 4 Dead in Hospital Shooting.”

More violence.
More terror.
More empty words from our elected leaders. 

When I first heard the news of the Uvalde, Texas school shooting, I was in a school attendance review board meeting working with the district on helping parents get their kids to go to school. Then at the end of the day, I was processing with parents about their guilt and fear about making their kids attend school and thinking, *Yep. I don’t blame you!*

I initially wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend I was unaware because I didn’t want to have to handle it…again. The thoughts of fear raced through my head as I remembered when my mom was just blocks away from the Regional Center mass shooting in San Bernardino, and I couldn’t get ahold of her. My thoughts went to when my little cousin recounted seeing the color red around her classroom after her teacher and a peer were shot and killed in front of her a few years back. I don’t want to think of this. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t need more stress. And yet, this trauma is often the core of our work as therapists. 

“Look for the helpers.” 

A famous word of wisdom shared from Mr. Fred Rogers brings comfort to the hearts and minds of terrified generations. But if you’re a mental health professional reading this, I don’t need to tell you that we, the helpers, are TIRED. We, the helpers, are burned out. We, the helpers, are overwhelmed. We, the helpers, are worried for the safety of our communities, our children, ourselves. And yet, we move through our own grief and terror to continue to help those who vulnerably come to us, and we hold their worries and fears and pain with them. And then we do it again. And then we do it again. And maybe we get the honor of seeing a victory. And then we hold more pain. 

If you, lovely helper, are feeling tired and overwhelmed, just know that

I. SEE. YOU.

You are not alone in this. 

When people in distress look for the helpers, who helps the helpers? I know I’ve shared in previous messages about this, but I think now is as important a time as ever to share a reminder that LA-CAMFT remains committed to providing accessible supports for each of you. We currently offer free monthly support groups online for Therapists of Color, for Black Therapists, and for White Therapists who want to be intentional about the work of anti-racism. 

At the request of the Los Angeles therapeutic community, the LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee and Special Interest Group volunteers are also actively in the process of developing specific support groups for Latinx Therapists, Middle Eastern Therapists, Asian Therapists, and LGBTQ+ Therapists. But we can’t make these happen without amazing volunteers willing to work with us to help the helpers. I know as I have volunteered to plan and facilitate some of these groups, I leave the support time so refreshed and fulfilled, so I know you will, too. 

If you’d like to volunteer, email me at president@lacamft.org, the Diversity Chair at diversitycommittee@lacamft.org, or the Special Interest Groups Chair at sigchair@lacamft.org.

I don’t have all the answers, and may not be able to muster the most comforting of words today. But please know, YOU ARE IMPORTANT, and we will remain committed to helping you, gracious helper. If you need a break, honor your needs and take one. And even if all you can muster these days is your presence with those you serve, please know that that is enough. By your presence alone, you are truly changing the world for the better, one client at a time. 

Until next time, blessings. 

Leanne Nettles

Leanne Nettles, LMFT is a School-based Clinical Program Manager in a community-mental health agency and an Adjunct Professor at Pacific Oaks College. She specializes in child and adolescent therapy, while practicing and supervising from a systemic and structural therapy approach. Leanne works to advocate for cultural diversity and equity within the field, and is passionate about training quality mental health professionals to serve low income, historically disenfranchised communities using a team-based, collaborative approach.