Los Angeles Chapter — California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
Voices — March 2026
Jenni Wilson, LMFT, President
Safety Is An Illusion
Honestly? It feels unethical not to use any small platform and privilege I have to speak out against injustices, highlight the destabilization of democracy, and express concern about the effects of all THIS (waving arms around awkwardly) on our collective psyches. How can I not write about the stresses of living in a society under the watchful eye of some malignant sociopathic cabal and their minions, bulldozing constitutional rights, killing without cause, and using tax dollars to terrorize and traffic our fellow human beings?
But I can’t write about these things, or of all the things I want to write to you right now. Not in the ways I’d prefer. Because someone might make the mistake of thinking that because I’m the current President writing this message, I could be speaking for the chapter. But, you know, I wouldn’t be. I’d be writing as a member… if I spoke of such things.
This weekend was the CAMFT Leadership Conference - one of the fun and energizing perks of LA-CAMFT Leadership. We start every year coming together to meet other chapter leaders from up and down the state. We ask questions and share ideas sitting in a hotel ballroom for two days reviewing matters impacting our profession, sharing goals and challenges within the administration of our chapters, and discussing the similar needs of the diverse populations we represent.
The CLC reminds us that coming together in the service of others and coming together in joy do not have to be mutually exclusive. Joyful Acts of Resistance are as important as legislative acts and acts of great bravery. A radical idea. When the powers-that-be seek to divide us, we resist by joyfully coming together.
Here are some of upcoming events and offerings where we can come together in learning and joy:
More than ever, LA-CAMFT is committed to bringing people together. We want to expand rather than shrink. We want our community to grow and flourish.
If you have an event, training, meet-up, group idea you think would benefit the membership you can always reach me at President@lacamft.org (and not at those scammer email addresses).
We’re facing moral and ethical crossroads, as citizens and clinicians. Many of us aren’t okay right now. I’m seeing folx no longer willing to fold in deference to unjust pressures. People are asking questions and making connections, witnessing how the news that’s fed to them contradicts their lived experiences.
The more those in power can no longer effectively hide their darkness behind the cloak of pseudo-soft power, the more malignant and pervasive their acts. They can no longer argue that they are just or in the right. Children taken. Mothers shot with their kids in the car. Protectors assassinated on the street. Journalists targeted. We see with our own eyes and hear with our own ears. The truth is inescapable. It’s everywhere. It seeps into our sessions as clinicians and professionals. It oozes over personal and social landscapes.
I’m urged to stay neutral but since I’m not being paid, I’m less inclined to be.
A painful and necessary awakening’s underway for many who’re realizing this isn’t a reality show and you cannot change the channel. No one’s immune to the expense and madness of fascism. Targeted communities have long understood that safety is an illusion –an ever-present awareness deeply embedded in their family and nervous systems. Living in fear of random acts of violence against you is something that will now be passed down through new generations, in formerly-insulated cultures and classes – just as it has always been for marginalized folx. Hopefully this awakening brings a new understanding of those who’ve been formerly misunderstood. It’s no longer just “them” - it’s “you”, “us”, “me”, “mine”, and “ours” that are in danger. The façade of American Exceptionalism cannot hold, unless we redefine it.
We have an opportunity to act joyously in community right now, respecting differences, championing legislation strengthening and protecting our profession, learning from each other, and providing support to our most at-risk colleagues by creating safe (as possible) spaces for the processing of their unique experiences.
The time to gather is now. As of July 2026, for federal loan purposes, LMFT, social work, and counseling master’s level degrees may no longer classify as professional degrees. The impact of AI on our field is becoming significant, as algorithms attempt to replicate eye-to-eye human therapeutic experiences. For these reasons and more, we will be more successful in protecting the future of our profession if we stand united.
Let’s get our big beautiful prefrontal cortexes online and ground our tree-like mindful feet into the ground to find healthy productive ways to “feel that feeling” without causing more unnecessary destruction. Understanding that some destruction must occur for positive change to happen. I often say, “Sometimes things need to get shitty before they get pretty”.
Since the beginning of time, there’ve been forces seeking to divide people with Fear rather than unite us in Good Will. The deep truth of oppression is that it leads to more oppression and less collaboration. Because the more collaboration, the more we LIKE each other and recognize how we’re alike and connected - we begin to care that what we do affects others: our brothers, sisters, beloveds, and fellow life travelers. Getting together in common cause, in the loving encouragement of fellowship, inevitably shifts oppressive controlling narratives that divide us. This is when oppressors become shitting-their-pants desperate and bring out the big guns - sometimes literally.
These things are happening. The world’s watching. As I sit here on my patio, drinking matcha lemonade, wondering how I’ll hold safe spaces for others tomorrow when I know I cannot guarantee it. Yet, I’ll always try. We must try.
It’d be safest for me to be silent, stay neutral, and just remind everyone to REGISTER NOW FOR LAW AND ETHICS THIS MONTH!! It’d be prudent as President for me to remind you again that we’d love to help you make your event, program, or training happen! But who I am is already out there - a person before a position - the Gen-X child of parents who were in an interracial marriage before Loving v. Virginia, and the proud stepdaughter of a civil rights activist. I feel a responsibility to at least urge people to be measured, loving, respectful and supportive. We cannot ignore but should not indulge bullies. Because while we can be neutral about what’s happening in the world, the world will never be neutral about us.
Remember: Aligning with the abuser seems safe, until it isn’t.
Have a safety plan. Do not obey in advance. Stay Hydrated, my fellow members. Hope to see you soon at the next meet-up!
Paz y Amor,
Jenni J.V. Wilson, LMFT (she/her): As a collaborative conversationalist passionate about empowering and advocating for marginalized groups and underrepresented voices, Jenni uses an integrative approach based on post-modern principles to provide culturally-mindful and trauma-informed therapeutic services and clinical supervision. She works with creative, anxious, mixed race/culture, and co-dependent clients on improving and eliminating toxic relationships, while increasing authentic expression. She has a BA in theatre from Occidental College, an MA in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University LA, and is trained in EMDR, Brainspotting, and certified in Narrative Therapy. She is an accomplished writer, has produced/co-hosted multiple podcasts, worked in addiction treatment for nearly a decade, and sees the “worried well” in her private practice in Sherman Oaks. Website: www.JenniJVWilson.com
Sunday, March 15, 2026 9:00am-4:00pm
Online Via Zoom
6 CE Credits
(Meets BBS requirements for mandatory 6 CEs)
with Nicol Stolar-Peterson, PsyD, LCSW, BCD
This workshop, led by an expert on issues related to Child Abuse/Child Welfare, will expand beyond basic knowledge of CANRA (the Child Abuse, Neglect, and Reporting Act) by diving into real child abuse cases and applying them to the law. Issues covered will include the potential outcomes of delayed reporting or failing to report abuse, concerns around alerting perpetrators, and how to respond when abuse escalates. The presentation also explores basic and not-so-basic court issues for therapists such as how to handle requests for court letters, responding to subpoenas, testifying, and serving as a witness.
Educational Goals/Learning Objectives:
This workshop is intended for licensed and pre-licensed master’s level therapists with beginner-to-advanced experience working in the field of counseling/therapy. The workshop will educate therapists on handling a variety of legal issues they may encounter in their everyday practice, focusing on those related to child abuse and child welfare. Also covered will be how therapists can handle situations they may be called on to face in court.
At the end of this presentation, participants will be able to:
Nicol Stolar-Peterson, PsyD, LCSW, BCD (she/her) is a subject matter expert in Child Welfare, Child Protective Services, Forensic Interviews, and Standard of Care. She has served as an expert witness in over 100 cases coast-to-coast. She completed over 1000 child abuse investigations, interviews, and foster care and adoptive placements. She has trained over 1000 social workers in child abuse investigation and current standards and duties. Past speaking engagements have included The California Mediators Conference, and the Child Welfare Training Academy. She has been interviewed on podcasts such as “Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide,” “Private Practice Start-Up,” and more. Her website is www.nicolstolar.com.
For more information, contact Course Organizer/CE Networking Chair Shiji Yuan.
Event Details:
For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, Students, & Related Professionals
When: Sunday, March 16, 2026 from 9:00am-4:00pm
(Check-In 8:45am; includes two 15-minute breaks and a 30-minute lunch break)
Where: Online via Zoom (Your registration confirmation email will include the Zoom link and instructions for accessing the event. A reminder email will be sent prior to the event.)
Cost:$85 for LA-CAMFT Members / Other CAMFT Chapter Members$85 for CSCSW Members$35 Prelicensed Member / Other CAMFT Chapter Prelicensed Members $100 for Non-Members $50 for Prelicensed Non-Members
From March 12-14
$90 for LA-CAMFT Members / Other CAMFT Chapter Members$90 for CSCSW Members$40 Prelicensed Member / Other CAMFT Chapter Prelicensed Members $110 for Non-Members $55 for Prelicensed Non-Members
*Registration closes Thursday, March 14 at 10:00pm.*
Due to the popularity and ease of attendance, we are once again going to present with workshop LIVE on Zoom. This presentation will not be recorded.
(To be sure you receive any information we send prior to the event, please add networkingchair@lacamft.org to your known contacts or safe list and check your bulk, junk or promotions mailboxes for any emails from us about this event.)
Register online today! We look forward to seeing you on Zoom.
CAMFT Approved Continuing Education Provider 59450. LA-CAMFT is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists to sponsor continuing education for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs. LA-CAMFT maintains responsibility for this program/course and its content.
This course meets the qualifications for 6 continuing education credits for MFTs, LPCCs, and/or LCSWs as required by the California Board of Behavioral Sciences.
To receive CE certificate: Participants must sign in/sign out, and must complete an evaluation form upon course completion. For a Course Schedule, please contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.
Refund policy: 48-hour notice required for refund of fee minus $5.00 administrative cost. Exceptions can be made for 48-hour notice in cases of emergency. Contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.
Accommodations for Special Needs: Contact Course Organizer at NetworkingChair@LACAMFT.org.
Grievances: Program Administrator/CFO manages all grievances—and will acknowledge, investigate and remedy grievances. Response to grievances will be made in writing within 30 days. Contact them at cfo@lacamft.org.
https://lacamft.org/event-6504506
Getting Paid: Introducing & Talking About Sliding Scale, Adjusted Pricing & Specialized Alternatives—The Words You Use Make a Difference
Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, Voices Editor
What’s your sliding scale? Do you have a sliding scale? How low is your sliding scale? What’s your discounted rate?
These words are often the first thing a therapist encounters when a potential client calls, emails, texts, or DMs about therapy. It’s no surprise that mental health professionals find this a jarring and highly awkward beginning to an interaction about starting therapy—and that therapists, themselves, have many questions, about the best way to respond effectively, both clinically and professionally, to these potential clients during this important first contact. In fact, the most often asked question I encounter in Money Matters Workshops and at LA Practice Development Lunches is: “What’s the best way to respond when the first thing a caller—or a text, email or message—asks about is a discounted rate or sliding scale?” As I wrote about in previous articles about sliding scale pricing, responding to callers and clients who are asking, but don’t really need or qualify for a lower therapy rate, is a very different type of conversation than the one clinicians trained for and are familiar with—people who genuinely have, a financial need. Just because clients are anxious about the price or cost of services doesn’t necessarily mean therapists should automatically give a price change or accommodation.
The price a client can afford and the price a client wants to pay may not always be the same thing. It’s often hard for us as helping professionals to remember that helping a client doesn’t always have to mean giving everyone who asks a reduced rate or routinely offering the lowest possible price for therapy. It also can mean helping people find a lower priced type of treatment and referring them. While I wholeheartedly support the values that the term “sliding scale” represents, that professionals can help people in need by sometimes—at their discretion and when their schedules allow it—charging less or making other specialized arrangements, so that people can still get affordable help when they need it, I also firmly support mental health professionals charging and being paid a fair price for the professional services they provide to clients. As therapists, our task is to find the right balance of how, and how much, we can adjust session prices, for which clients, and how many—and not go out of business. In the current climate, navigating talking about prices with these clients takes more specialized skills and requires a totally different mindset, approach, and vocabulary. The Wording You Use Can Make Difference in Your Income
As in any clinical endeavor, the words you use to describe your services do make a difference. Yes, the meaning our words convey can either increase or decrease the amount of money we earn and are paid for our professional services. You’ll find that more people will pay in full and out of their own pocket for your services, when they believe you are the professional who can give them what they want—and the wording you use to describe your services conveys that. Money Talk: Words & Phrases to Consider
Here are some examples of words that can make a difference in income when a clinician talks, writes, or communicates about therapy or money matters—and how and why these words can affect the perceived value, and subsequently, the amount a person is willing to pay for the therapy services provided as a clinician.
This information applies equally to face-to-face conversations in real time or virtually, to emails, texts, social media postings, and what’s printed in marketing materials or is on your website. Each one of these words and phrases can have a direct effect on the amount a client pays you for your clinical services.
As you read the following information, be sure to remember:
1. Pricing & Adjusted Pricing: Specialized Options Based on Income and Financial Need
When therapists talk about the price or hourly rate for services and clients ask about sliding scale or a discount or even the lowest amount that can be charged, that’s a good time for the therapist to talk about the price of therapy and options for those who need a price accommodation to pay for therapy sessions. When therapists do make price accommodations for those in financial need, using words and phrases such as adjust the price/amount/rate . . . adjusted price(s)/pricing/ amount(s)/rate(s) . . . adjusted cost of services /therapy/sessions . . . alternate price(s)/amount(s)/rate(s) . . . special/specializedprice(s)/rate(s)/arrangement(s)/accommodation(s) enable potential clients to understand that it’s okay to discuss a different price but that it’s not guaranteed to everyone upon request. It’s also possible for a therapist to say that instead of a sliding scale, they offer different type of specialized pricing or rates for those with lower income or who are in need, when their schedule allows. Clinicians can do this by sharing the type they offer. Some examples are:
2. Low Cost Options as Alternatives or Additions to Sliding Scale
If a therapist decides not to offer a sliding scale or wants additional choices to go along with a sliding scale or specialized rates, here are some of the options that mental health professionals in private practice are using to make therapy more affordable and accessible. 1. Pricing Based on Lower Income or Financial Need
2. Fixed Number of Lower Priced Client Spaces
3. Shorter Session Length for Lower Price
4. Less Frequent Scheduling/Flexible Scheduling at Full Price
5. Specialized Session Pricing
6. Scholarships
7. Payment Plan—for adjusted session prices
8. Special Arrangements Based on Special Circumstances 9. Pro Bono Sessions
These are just a few of the arrangements available for affordable therapy options. It’s up to each private practitioner to decide what will work best for their own practice, and clients, when their schedule permits. 3. Words & Phrases to Consider for Presenting Pricing & Adjusted Pricing
These days the term “sliding scale” seems to come with a lot of baggage for clinicians, clients, and those seeking therapy. For many lay people, the word “sliding scale” means: the price can slide all the way down to zero; the rate will, of course, upon request, always be adjusted to the lowest possible price regardless of the financial need or available resources of the asker; and therapists will always give a lower price to anyone who asks because it’s their job to take care of people’s needs. An alternative to using “sliding scale” is to use more definite or declarative wording: For those with a lower income or who demonstrate a financial need—and are eligible, pricing based on lower income . . . special arrangements . . . specialized price/prices/pricing . . . price accommodation(s) can be discussed/made. The adjusted price for a 50-minute session of therapy is . . . The charge for your therapy session is . . . Here are three examples of what can be said when callers or clients ask about or mention a sliding scale, discount or reduction. These are meant to be tailored to what works for you, your practice, and clientele. Example 1 1. There are A/1/2/3/couple/few places/spaces/openings when my schedule allows it 2. For clients who pay/receive/qualify for/ are in need of 3. An adjusted fee/alternate price /special rate/economy rate, etc. and 4. Those are filled/there aren’t any openings/I can put you on the waiting list or Those are reserved for low income and those who have a financial hardship when possible/when available/ when my schedule allows 5. To qualify for those, you’ll need to submit proof of your household’s income—pay stubs/ tax return/bank statements etc. Example 2 1. There are A/1/2/3/couple/few places/spaces/openings/slots when possible/when available/ when my schedule allows it 2. For clients who pay/receive/qualify for/ are in need of 3. An adjusted fee/alternate price / special rate/economy rate 4. You don’t seem to qualify for those. 5. We can talk about other options to be able to manage paying the session cost—less than weekly sessions/shorter length sessions/group therapy/family loan/ credit card payment/ 6. If you’re not able to work out paying the session price/If you don’t want to pay the session price 7. I can refer you to a low-cost counseling center, free clinic, training center, or counseling practice specializing in low income clients. Example 3 1. If you’re not able to pay this session price 2. I don’t offer a sliding scale or adjust the price for a session 3. I can refer you to a low-cost counseling center, a training center, free clinic, or counseling practice specializing in low income clients. By using this type of wording, the therapist will be conveying the message that the stated cost of services is the actual price and not just a negotiation starting point when no fee adjustment is realistically needed—but that some pricing accommodations are available to those in need of them. As a result, of making this wording change the clinician’s money conversations are usually shorter and the amount decided upon is usually higher but still what the client can afford. Only Do What Fits You, Your Clients, and Your Therapy Services Best
Confidently take charge of money conversations about prices by using any of aforementioned professional and clinical language recommendations that work with your client population and clinical practice. Focus on the value, cost, worth of the therapy service to the client and their life. Remember to keep the language, wording, and focus of the clinical and professional money matters conversations on the client responsibility for payment for services needed, received and provided— not on what or how much the therapist gets or charges or how much the number is. Allow the client to pay a fair price for the therapy benefits they receive from you, the highly skilled and trained professional that you are. See for yourself how the words you use can increase the amount of money you earn in your practice while still serving the community and keeping your services affordably priced. The therapists I coach and train find that when they can set a session price that works for their practices and clients, they stop undercharging and reducing the price for every client but limit accommodations to a certain number of clients when their schedule allows it—and refer those who can’t or aren’t willing to pay the clinician’s set minimum amount—their practices fill (and stay full) and they earn more money while helping more clients.
I encourage more clinicians to consider taking the risk to do this—set the session price at a rate that represents the worth of the therapy and professional services they provide; have a set minimum that no adjusted pricing goes below (you can still have a pro bono client or two at your discretion); and refrain from adjusting session prices for every client who asks—it benefits both clients and therapists as well as the profession. That’s enough about how to introduce and talk about sliding scale, adjusted pricing, and specialized alternatives. I hope the information presented about how the wording you use as a clinician to talk about sliding scale pricing can increase or decrease the amount of money you earn from your client work has been useful—and that you’ve found this article—and the others in the Getting Paid Series—to be supportive and encouraging of your efforts to be paid what the valuable therapy services you provide are worth in the professional marketplace.
Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, is in private practice virtually, and in Santa Monica where she works with Couples and Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults across the lifespan. Lynne’s been doing business and clinical coaching with mental health professionals for more than 15 years, helping therapists create even more successful careers and practices. She offers in-person & online services, workshops, presentations, & monthly no-cost Online Networking & Practice Development Lunches. Website: www.Gifted-Adults.com or www.LAPracticeDevelopment.com
TOC Grant Award Registration Opens January 2, 2026
Christina “Tina” Cacho Sakai, LMFT, TOC Grant Award Committee Chair
The next cycle for the LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Award begins January 2, 2026 when registration opens. It is limited to current pre-licensed or student members of LA-CAMFT, and the award is limited to once per calendar year.
At the end of this article, there is an update on the impact that the award has had on awardees and their thoughts on its value.
Description of Grant Stipend
Every 4 months (3x per year), a grant award will be offered to two applicants who meet the following criteria: (1) must be a current LA-CAMFT member, (2) identify as a Therapist of Color, and (3) must be either an Associate, Trainee, or Student still in graduate school.
Grant winners will receive
The $530 award can be used at the recipient’s discretion based on their own individual needs (whether it be for BBS fees, testing materials, memberships, rent, groceries, etc.). Confirmation for the purpose that the money is used will not be required.
Application and Selection Process
Interested members can complete the application on the LA-CAMFT website. The selection process entails using a Randomized Generator of the applicants who met the full criteria and complete the application online to take out human bias and decrease activation of one's trauma history. The drawing will be recorded via Zoom and posted onto social media along with an announcement naming the grant winners, whom will also be contacted via email directly.
Registration for the next award cycle will open on January 2, 2026 and will close on February 22, 2026.
The drawing will take place on February 23, 2026.
*Please note: dates this cycle have been updated to opening January 12th and closing March 3rd. Winners will be contacted week of March 5th.*
Awardees' thoughts on the LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Award
IMPACT OF THE GRANT
"It was very helpful. I was poor when I was an AMFT."
"The grant was very impactful as it eased the burden of some of the costs associated with the MFT process (training and supplies, L&E study materials, etc.)! The grant provided relief and helped finances feel less constrained as a trainee and now Associate."
"I found the grant very helpful to me particularly during a time when I was in dire need of additional funding & support to help keep me on track for the future."
"The grant was very impactful for me, as it helped me to pay my final fees, associated with my graduate program, so that I could finish strong. Every little bit counts, so I am very grateful to have been able to use this money to help toward that end."
VALUE OF THE GRANT
"I just want to express my sincere gratitude to the TOC Grant committee for this program as it truly helps alleviate some of the systemic socioeconomic gaps in this field that passionate therapists of color such as myself have to navigate in our journeys to becoming competent licensed mental health clinicians."
"I appreciate that this grant exists and can be applied to very easily. The gesture is meaningful and I hope other TOC are taking advantage of it."
"It really touched me. SFV chapter started giving scholarships too. I think TOC Grant was a positive influence to the therapists community."
"One additional comment I’d like to make is that it is very helpful that we are able to use the grant money at our own discretion. Removing limitations is advantageous because life happens to us all, and in order for us to be able to do our work well, sometimes we need to be able to address other situations, financially, that may directly or indirectly impact our work."
Best regards,
Guest Article
The Wealthy Spirit: People Love To Give Me Money
Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert
"Money swore an oath that nobody who did not love it should ever have it." -Irish proverb
When I work with groups, I always ask if anyone ever took a class on making and managing money in grade school or high school. Very few hands go up. Without official training in this subject, people are left to formulate their own ideas based on what they heard, read, or saw others do. So what did you hear about money when you were growing up? What did your parents say to you when you asked for money? What did you read about money? What did your teachers, friends, neighbors tell you? What were the old clichés you heard? These thoughts became your “money mantras” and they resound in your mind whether or not you are conscious of them. And they create your financial reality. Try completing the following sentences:
“Money doesn’t grow ____________.”
“The love of money is the root _____________.”
“The rich get richer and ________________.”
“Save for a _____________.”
“It takes money to __________.”
“It’s just as easy to marry _________________.”
“Money can’t buy ______________.”
My workshop participants call out the answers immediately. As each one is mentioned, I write it on the white board for everyone to see. As I add more and more negative statements, the room gets quieter and quieter. The energy level goes way down. The feeling is palpable as people focus on their negative ideas about money. I ask them to feel the energy in the room and they all notice it’s more depressed. Then I ask, “How many people believe in the power of positive thinking?” Many people raise their hands, but then I run to the board and point out all the negative statements and ask, “Then what’s this?!”
This generally gets a good laugh as people realize that they may believe in thinking positive, but they haven’t really taken the time to evaluate their thoughts that they are constantly replaying in their minds. At this point, they’re ready to learn some new positive thoughts about money. The very first affirmation I teach them is, “People love to give me money!” I have them say it out loud with me, and the energy level in the room goes up immediately. People start laughing—it’s fun, and it feels so different to say a positive, fun, money affirmation. I say, “See, you can’t say it without smiling!”
Many people make this statement a part of their daily affirmation program. And the results have been amazing. One attorney thought it was silly, but was game to try it and so repeated this statement all the way home from the class. As he walked up to his front door, his roommate ran out and handed him a check for money he had owed him for nine months. Effie, a young photographer, was saying this affirmation in her car. When she stopped at a traffic light, a homeless man knocked on her window. When she rolled it down, he handed her five dollars!
Change your mind about money today and change your experience with money tomorrow. Try it and see.
Today’s Affirmation: “People love to give me money!”
A woman posted this comment about affirmations on my blog a while back:
“Oh, Chellie. Right off the bat you’ve hit my “this will never work” button. When saying this affirmation, all I can think about is the lack I’ve had in my life since childhood. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna say it, but this will truly be a “fake it, ’til you make it” affirmation for me!”
Ah, yes, “Fake it ‘til you make it”, that great old show biz adage. Well, I’m here to tell you it works. And here’s why:
You’re wearing your thinking.
You wear your thoughts like you wear clothes. Your thinking shows up on your face and in your body language and in your energy. You are projecting joy, success, and prosperity or you are projecting misery, failure, and poverty. And all points in between. People can see it and they can feel it. They respond, consciously and unconsciously, to the thoughts you project.
I explained this once on a radio show in Billings, Montana, when my book, The Wealthy Spirit, was first released. The interviewer was Tommy B, and the call letters of the radio station were KBUL. I pictured him as a skeptical guy in a cowboy hat and boots, and didn’t think he was going to be wildly enthusiastic about practicing positive thinking.
I was right. The first thing Tommy said after he introduced me was “I have to tell you I am a skeptic. You aren’t going to tell me that saying some silly positive phrases is going to make me more money, are you?”
“Well, yes, Tommy, I am,” I said.
“Okay,” he said, sounding perfectly delighted to have some controversy, “You are going to have to explain how that works.”
“It’s really quite logical,” I explained. “For example, let’s say a friend of yours walks into your house and he’s really angry about something. Can you tell he’s angry before he says so?”
“Yes,” replied Tommy.
“Well, he looks happy.”
“Yes—because you’re wearing your thinking. Your emotional state is reflected in your body language and on your face.”
“I guess that’s true,” said Tommy. “But how is that going to make me more money?”
“Wait and I’ll explain,” I said. “Do you network in the community to promote your radio show? Do you go to Chamber of Commerce, Rotary Club, and other business or trade associations meetings?”
“Oh, sure,” he replied. “I go to things like that all the time.”
“When you’re there, do you notice that some people look happy and successful, and other people look angry and complaining?”
“Yes,” chuckled Tommy.
“And, in addition to promoting yourself, do you sometimes hire the people you meet to provide products or services for you? To design or print your business cards, or sell you stationery supplies, or provide your insurance?”
“Yes.”
“So do you hire the people who look happy and successful, or do you hire the people who look angry and complaining?
“I hire the people who look happy and successful,” he replied.
“Why?”
“Because if they look happy and successful, I expect they will do a good job. It will be a pleasure working with them and there won’t be any problems.”
“Exactly,” I said. “That is why positive thinking works. You repeat positive statements to yourself in order to talk yourself into a happy, successful feeling. That feeling is going to show on your face and in your body language. People will look at your smiling face, hear the smile in your voice, and see you as successful. Whether you are or not! In show business they say to “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Positive thinkers are using that principle in daily life. Act joyful and successful every day, and more people will hire you and be willing to pay you top dollar. Soon you’ll find you aren’t acting anymore. You’ll actually be successful. And happy. And rich.”
“Oh,” exclaimed Tommy. “I never thought about it like that.”
We’re all wearing our thinking. Are you wearing prosperity or poverty? Success or failure? Love or hate? And who do you think you are attracting with that energy?
Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebook—with participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com
Black Therapist Support Group
Second Monday of Every Month
Next Meeting: Monday, March 9, 2026 6:00pm-7:30pm
A safe place for healing, connection, support and building community. In this group, licensed clinicians, associates and students can come together and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of African descent encounter in the field of mental health. As the late great Maya Angelou once said, “As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal someone else.” May this space, be the support needed to facilitate that journey.
Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members.
For more information, contact the Diversity Committee.
For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students
When: Monday, March 9, 2026 from 6:00pm-7:30pm (Check-In: 5:50pm)
Where: Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)
Cost: No charge
*Registration is open and available until the group begins.*
https://lacamft.org/event-6475301
Member Article
7 Signs Your Marriage Is Over — And What to Do Next
Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT
You don’t wake up one morning and suddenly realize your marriage is gone. It happens slowly, quietly, between rushed mornings and unfinished conversations. One day you catch yourself sitting in your car long after you’ve parked—because going inside feels heavier than staying put. You wonder if this is just a rough season… or if it’s something deeper. That uncertainty creates a gap you desperately want to close, but you don’t know how.
When You’re Afraid Something Is Broken
There comes a point in many marriages where the day-to-day struggles—fighting, silence, resentment, avoidance—begin to feel like more than stress. They feel like symptoms.
On the surface, the issues look practical: constant arguments, no communication, limited affection, or a sense of living parallel lives instead of a shared one. But underneath those daily frustrations sits something harder to admit: the emotional exhaustion, the loneliness of being unseen in your own home, the fear of making the wrong choice and paying for it for years. And deeper still, there’s a quiet conviction that relationships shouldn’t drain a person or leave them feeling small. Marriage was meant to be a partnership, not a battlefield or a cage.
But it doesn’t have to stay this way. There is a different path—and it begins with clarity.
A Clearer Way Forward
As a divorce mediator and therapist with more than 30 years of experience helping individuals and couples navigate some of the most painful transitions of their lives, I’ve seen thousands of people sit exactly where you may be sitting now—unsure, overwhelmed, and torn between loyalty and self-preservation.
I care deeply about helping you gain clarity, peace, and a healthier next step, whether that step means repairing your marriage or ending it with dignity. Today, I want to help you recognize the signs that your marriage may be ending… and what you can do about it.
1. Conversations Feel Impossible
If every discussion turns into an argument—or if you’ve stopped talking altogether—communication may have broken beyond everyday stress. When small topics explode into large fights or are avoided entirely, it’s often because deeper emotional needs aren’t being met. This persistent breakdown is one of the strongest indicators that something fundamental has shifted.
2. You No Longer Want to Spend Time Together
Healthy couples seek connection. When you find yourself making excuses to stay late at work, spending more time in separate rooms, or feeling relief when your partner is gone, it’s a sign the emotional bond may be deteriorating. When the relationship becomes an obligation rather than a refuge, distance can quietly become permanent.
3. Trust Is Damaged—And Not Rebuilding
Trust doesn’t disappear only through affairs. It erodes through broken promises, dismissive behavior, secrecy, and disrespect. If trust has been compromised and months or years go by without meaningful repair, the foundation of the marriage weakens. A relationship without trust eventually becomes a relationship without safety.
4. You’ve Stopped Trying to Fix Things
There’s a point where apathy takes the place of anger. When one or both partners no longer have the desire to work on issues—no couple’s counseling, no attempts to reconnect, no real discussions about change—it’s often because the emotional investment has already left. When hope disappears, staying together becomes a form of emotional stagnation.
5. The Marriage Is Affecting Your Health
Sleepless nights, chronic stress, anxiety, or persistent sadness can all signal deeper relational distress. If your mental or physical health is deteriorating because of your marriage, it’s important to pay attention. Your body often recognizes the truth before your mind is ready to accept it.
6. You Can’t Envision a Future Together
When you think ahead—five years, ten years—does your partner feel like part of the picture? If you imagine future plans alone, or you feel dread rather than comfort envisioning life together, it often means the emotional connection has already shifted.
7. You Feel More Yourself When Your Partner Isn’t Around
Maybe you feel lighter, clearer, or more at peace when you’re away. Maybe you notice your energy drop the moment you walk into the same room. This isn’t something to ignore. When your sense of identity grows only outside the marriage, it’s a sign the relationship is no longer supporting who you are.
When Ending a Marriage Feels Overwhelming
If you’re realizing your marriage may be over, it’s natural to feel fear, guilt, or confusion. You may worry about finances, the kids, losing your home, or the possibility of conflict. Many people also worry about turning their life upside down only to face a courtroom battle.
But facing the truth about your marriage doesn’t mean chaos must follow. There is a calmer, more respectful option.
Mediation allows couples to untangle their lives without the high cost, emotional destruction, and adversarial nature of litigation. Mediation creates:
You don’t have to destroy each other in order to separate your lives.
A New Beginning Starts With One Step
If these signs resonated with you, or if you’re simply unsure what to do next, you don’t have to face the uncertainty alone. I’m here to help you get clarity, understand your options, and move toward a healthier future—whether that means rebuilding your marriage or ending it peacefully.
Take the Next Step Let’s talk through your situation, reduce your overwhelm, and help you take back control of your life. You deserve clarity, stability, and a future where you feel like yourself again.
Your next chapter doesn’t have to be painful. It can be peaceful, grounded, and filled with hope—starting with one conversation.
Steven Unruh, MA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFT. He and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child support—along with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern California. Website: stevenunruh.com
LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee
presents
White Therapists Fighting Racism (WTFR)
Third Sunday of Every Month
Next Meeting: Sunday, March 15, 2026 3:00pm-5:00pm (PT)
The goal of White Therapists Fighting Racism (WTFR) is for white-identified therapists to become effective allies in support of decolonization and racial justice in our clinical practice, therapy association, and community. Recognizing that racism is maintained when whiteness is invisible to white people, WTFR provides a forum for white-identified therapists to explore what it means to be white. While this process includes learning about structural racism and deconstructing the false narrative about race, a primary focus in the group is on doing inner work.
How Do I Join? To join this group, please click here to complete our online submission form. Once submitted, a group facilitator will reach out to you for next steps.
For more information or if you have additional questions, please send all inquiries to the facilitators WTFR@lacamft.org.
When: Sunday, March 15, 2026 from 3:00pm-5:00pm (PT)
Where: Online Via Zoom (Once you complete the online submission process, you will be emailed a monthly Zoom link.)
Facilitator(s): Estelle, Randi, Hazel, and Stephen
https://lacamft.org/event-6513171
Following the False Map of Love
How distorted ideas of love and loyalty create self-betrayal and spiritual disconnection.
Joanna Poppink, LMFT
Series Note
The False Map of Love is Article 1 in the seven-part series, Claiming the Lost Self. The series explores how women lose connection to their inner truth through distorted ideas of love and loyalty, and how depth psychotherapy supports the return of the self that survived beneath years of adaptation and silence. Each article follows the psyche’s movement from distortion to awakening through memory, embodiment, and spiritual renewal.
Summary
Many women move through life guided by a false map of love, often without knowing it. They grow up believing that steady devotion requires self-erasure, and that being loved means keeping themselves small. This article traces how such maps form quietly in childhood, how they shape adult relationships, and how depth psychotherapy supports a woman as she begins claiming the lost self. Throughout this six-part series, we follow the psyche’s movement from distortion to clarity, from silent endurance to awakening, through dreams, memory, embodiment, and spiritual renewal.
The False Map of Love
Every woman begins life with a map she does not know she is drawing. It often is a map drawn for her that she accepts without question. The map markings are subtle. A raised eyebrow. A sigh. A quiet withdrawal of affection. A moment of sudden warmth that depends entirely on her compliance. A child learns quickly. She learns what brings calm into the room and what sparks tension. She learns which emotions are welcome and which threaten the household's delicate balance.
Over time, these lessons form a hidden map. It teaches her that love is earned through silence, caretaking, and vigilance. It warns her that needs, opinions, or spontaneity may cost her the fragile connection she tries so hard to keep. What once kept her safe becomes the false map of love, a guide that leads her away from the ground of her own being. This is the earliest form of losing access to her inner direction, long before the real work of claiming the lost self becomes possible.
In adulthood, she may look capable, steady, and devoted. Yet inside, she feels hollowed by over-functioning and under-being. She wonders why she cannot feel the intimacy she works so hard to create. She wonders why closeness feels more like a performance than a relationship. Depth psychotherapy begins with honoring this longing. It helps her look at the map she inherited rather than the life she was meant to live. That is the first gesture toward claiming the lost self.
The Soul’s First Wound
The soul’s first wound often arrives quietly. A child shows joy, only to hear she is too much. She asks for comfort and is told she is dramatic. She cries, only to be met with irritation rather than tenderness. It takes only a few such moments for a child to conclude that her inner life is unsafe.
The exile begins here. Not with violence, but with small, repeated lessons: Your feelings are inconvenient, Your needs are excessive, Your truth creates trouble.
To survive, the child learns to guard her inner life. She shines when others need light and disappears when her own pain surfaces. Spiritually, this is the moment she loses trust in the world as a place where she belongs. Yet that hidden self does not vanish. It waits, patient and intact, for the first sign of safety.
The Body as Witness
Before a woman can speak of what shaped her life, her body often speaks for her. Her shoulders rise whenever someone asks what she needs. Her breath thins when she tries to express a difficult truth. Her jaw tightens when she senses criticism coming, even if no words have been spoken.
These reactions are not symptoms of weakness. They are a living archive. They carry memories the mind learned to forget. When a woman sits in psychotherapy and places a hand on her own chest to steady her breath, something ancient stirs. Her body begins to trust that she will not abandon it again.
In this way, the body becomes the doorway to claiming the lost self. It offers messages, not malfunctions, and each message contains the promise of return.
In depth psychotherapy, the body becomes a spiritual companion. Trembling, tears, warmth, or stillness signal the reawakening of buried vitality. Each sensation is a declaration, an annunciation of life returning to the place of banishment. The therapeutic space becomes a sanctuary where body and soul can meet again.
When Love Betrays
Betrayal is often experienced first in childhood, long before a woman has the language to name it. Someone she depended on dismissed her pain, mocked her vulnerability or rewarded her devotion only when it served their needs. As an adult, the same pattern resurfaces. She tries harder, hoping effort will create safety. She forgives quickly. She absorbs what should never have been hers.
Depth psychotherapy offers a different path. Instead of collapsing under the weight of the memory or rushing toward forgiveness, the woman learns to stand in the truth of what happened. She sees how others' betrayals taught her to betray herself. She begins repairing the inner covenant between truth and affection. This is the heart of claiming the lost self. It is the moment she stops leaving herself behind.
Spiritually, betrayal severs the bond between inner truth and outer devotion. Healing begins when the woman recognizes that she abandoned her own knowing to remain loved. Restoring that inner bond becomes the first act of freedom.
The Therapeutic Path Forward
When a woman can no longer silence what hurts, the psyche often speaks through images. She dreams she is drowning while others watch. She dreams of a neglected child she tries to protect. She dreams of running after someone she cannot reach. These images are not warnings. They are invitations. The psyche is calling her back.
In psychotherapy, she recounts the dream slowly. She discovers the moment her breath catches. She notices the warmth she feels when she reaches the child in the dream. She begins to recognize that her own inner life has been trying to reach her for years.
The therapist’s task is not to repair a defective person but to accompany what has been hidden and waits for safety to emerge. As the false map dissolves, she confronts grief and disorientation, the loss of familiar roles, and the realization that devotion did not bring her the safety she worked for. Yet in this open space, she meets the beginnings of inner authority.
Claiming the lost self begins here, in the willingness to listen. Her false map of love begins to fade. Over time, the woman discovers a startling truth: she does not have to work for love inside the therapeutic relationship. She is seen. She is met. She is not required to shrink. Eventually, she begins giving herself the same regard she receives. That is how inner authority is born.
The Awakening Self
A quiet shift often marks the beginning of awakening. A woman speaks a small truth and feels her body soften rather than brace. She says “no” and is surprised by the relief that follows. She feels a moment of recognition, as if she is meeting someone familiar inside her own gaze.
This is the return of the self that never died. Feelings once exiled return. Memories once too frightening come forward with less threat. Strength she thought she lacked becomes available. She begins to move through life with an inner orientation rather than an outward performance. She is not rescuing a fragment. She is claiming a whole presence that has been waiting for her.
Psychologically, this is integration. Spiritually, it is a reunion. The self reappears not as the obedient child or the wounded survivor, but as one who knows love as mutual recognition. She no longer equates love with effort, self-criticism, or the endurance of harm. The false map is laid aside; the inner path arises. Claiming the lost self becomes the quiet foundation for a new life.
Joanna Poppink, LMFT, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder, is in private practice and specializes in Eating Disorder Recovery for adult women and with an emphasis on building a fulfilling life beyond recovery. She is licensed in California, Florida, Oregon, and Utah. All appointments are virtual. Website: EatingDisorderRecovery.net
Middle Eastern North African (MENA) Therapists Community Group
First Monday of Every Month
Next Meeting: Monday, March 2, 2026 9:00am-10:00am
The MENA Therapists Community Group is a safe place across the Middle Eastern and North African therapist diaspora to build community and a sense of belonging. We hold an inclusive space to process the impact of cultural biases experienced by people of MENA descent and the effect it may have on our work as mental health professionals. Within the process, we will strive to create healing, support, and empowerment. We will collaboratively exchange ideas, experiences and resources while acknowledging cultural differences and shared similarities. As the poet Khalil Gibran states — “The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you.” — our community will create a place to be seen, heard, and understood.
Special Note: MENA Therapists Community Group meetings are intended as a place for MENA-identifying therapists to have a safe place amongst others in the same ethnic and cultural community to share and process their personal and professional experiences. Therapists from similar cultural backgrounds (e.g., South Asian, mixed identities that include MENA, etc.) are also welcome. If you are not MENA-identifying or from a similar cultural background and instead wish to join these meetings for the purpose of learning about the MENA population, we offer consultations separately. You are more than welcome to schedule a one-on-one consultation by emailing us.
For more information, contact the facilitators at mena@lacamft.org.
When: Monday, March 2, 2026 from 9:00am-10:00am
Facilitator(s): Perla and Susan
https://lacamft.org/event-6470305
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