Guest Article

The Power of Companionship: Finding Connection in Unexpected Places

Kim Scott, LMFT

This summer, I had the chance to reconnect with a distant cousin who retired to Palm Springs years ago. As we caught up, she shared an intriguing arrangement: she bought a home with a close friend, another woman in her 70s. Not a romantic partnership, but a friendship built on practicality and companionship. They think of themselves as “Boomer Mates,” a concept that is rapidly growing in popularity. I hadn’t heard of it before but it immediately struck me as brilliant.

My cousin’s story is just one example of a broader trend. The idea of living with a friend isn’t new, but it's gaining traction—especially among people in their 70s. Intergenerational living, which was once common in America, is also seeing a resurgence. The 2022 US Census revealed that approximately 947,000 seniors now live with unrelated roommates, with about 50 percent sharing homes with younger adults.

This arrangement offers a creative way to combat the loneliness that can accompany retirement, while easing financial pressures. Some of the other benefits of having a roommate as an older adult include enhanced safety—especially during falls and medical emergencies—prolonged independence, and a shared journey through the later stages of life. But perhaps the greatest gift is companionship.  

At the heart of these living arrangements is the desire for connection, something that becomes even more essential as we age. Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General, has spoken powerfully about this in his May 2023 advisory, where he labeled loneliness and social isolation as a public health crisis. He highlighted the profound health risks of chronic loneliness, likening it to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. His insights shine a light on the deep emotional pain that comes from feeling disconnected. The Surgeon General also makes an important distinction between isolation and loneliness.

Isolation is simply being alone; it can be neutral or even beneficial. Loneliness, however, is the emotional distress that arises when we feel separated from others. It’s a feeling many clients struggle with in therapy, particularly as they age. But recognizing that loneliness is not a personal failing can help take away the shame many people feel. It is, in fact, a shared human experience.

In his book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, Dr. Murthy outlines three levels of relationships that shape our well-being. The most intimate circle includes our closest connections—family and confidantes who are there in times of crisis. The second circle consists of companions we see occasionally, like friends from work or places of worship, who enrich our lives in important but less intimate ways. The outermost layer is made up of more casual acquaintances—colleagues, baristas, or fellow gym-goers. Though these relationships may seem insignificant, they still contribute to a sense of belonging.

When any of these connections weaken, loneliness can take root. For seniors, this is especially common, though it is not necessarily linked to mental health disorders. Normalizing the conversation around loneliness in therapy can lift some of the shame clients may feel.

So how can we support clients who are experiencing loneliness? Here are a few ways to help:

• Create a safe space for open conversations: Loneliness is often seen as something shameful, especially for men. Offering clients a space to express these feelings without judgment is vital. Studies, such as one by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, show that 22% of adults report feeling lonely or isolated. Normalizing these feelings can help them feel less alone and less ashamed.
• Build a therapeutic relationship: For many clients, sharing their inner world with a therapist might be the first time they’ve opened up to anyone. This connection can be a starting point for learning how to build relationships outside of therapy.
• Encourage comfort with solitude: Dr. Murthy reminds us that developing comfort with solitude is key to fostering connection with others. By helping clients embrace mindfulness, reflection, gratitude, and creativity, we can guide them toward a greater sense of ease with being alone, which in turn strengthens their capacity for connection.
• Introduce new possibilities: Encouraging clients to explore new living arrangements, like my cousin’s "Boomer Mates," can help them find practical ways to foster connection. Resources such as the National Shared Housing Resource Center offer tools to help seniors find housemates.
• Foster social engagement: Teaching clients how to engage socially is critical, particularly for those who struggle with social anxiety. Building this skill can be a pathway to healthy, meaningful relationships.
• Prescribe pro-social activities: Simple activities like visiting a senior center, joining a class, or volunteering can help clients build social connections. For example, OneGeneration.Org, a Senior Enrichment Center in Los Angeles County, offers meals, classes, and volunteer opportunities, giving seniors a chance to engage with others. Similarly, the City of Los Angeles Department of Recreation and Parks hosts activities ranging from knitting to creative writing, providing various ways to build community.

With over 55 million people in the U.S. feeling lonely or isolated at any given time, addressing this issue in therapy is crucial. Supporting our clients often requires more than just therapeutic tools; it calls for us to be knowledgeable about community resources that meet both their emotional and practical needs.

Kim Scott, LMFT is a licensed marriage, family and child therapist. She has a private practice in Granada Hills where she works with couples and individuals, in-person and via Telehealth. Kim has been licensed for 30 years and has expertise in working with older adults and women issues. To learn more about Kim's practice and to read more of her articles visit her website: www.kimscottmft.com

Therapists of Color (TOC) Grant Award Committee

LA-CAMFT's Therapists of Color Grant Award & Awardees

Marvin Whistler, Mediator, TOC Grant Award Committee Chair

On June 29, 2025, the most recent awardees of the LA-CAMFT TOC GRANT AWARD were randomly selected. They are Cassandra Butcher and Jacquelyn Perez.  Each will receive a check for $530, and free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events with the exception of the Law & Ethics Workshop. The next cycle for the grant will begin on September 8, 2025.  It is limited to members of LA-CAMFT, and the award is limited to once per calendar year.  At the end of this article, there is an update on the impact that the award has had on awardees and their thoughts on its value.

Description of Grant Stipend

Every 4 months (3x per year), a grant award will be offered to two applicants who meet the following criteria: (1) must be a current LA-CAMFT member, (2) identify as a Therapist of Color, and (3) must be either an Associate, Trainee, or Student still in graduate school.

Grant winners will receive

• $530 to be spent at the winner’s discretion
• Free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events of the winner’s choosing with the exception of the Law & Ethics Workshop.

The $530 award can be used at the recipient’s discretion based on their own individual needs (whether it be for BBS fees, testing materials, memberships, rent, groceries, etc.). Confirmation for the purpose that the money is used will not be required.

Application and Selection Process

Interested members can complete the application on the LA-CAMFT website. The selection process entails using a Randomized Generator of the applicants who met the full criteria and complete the application online to take out human bias and decrease activation of one's trauma history. The drawing will be recorded via Zoom and posted onto social media along with an announcement naming the grant winners, whom will also be contacted via email directly. Registration for the next award cycle will open on September 8, 2025 and will close on November 1, 2025. The drawing will take place on November 2, 2025.

Awardees' thoughts on the LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Award

IMPACT OF THE GRANT

"It was very helpful. I was poor when I was an AMFT."

"The grant was very impactful as it eased the burden of some of the costs associated with the MFT process (training and supplies, L&E study materials, etc.)! The grant provided relief and helped finances feel less constrained as a trainee and now Associate."

"I found the grant very helpful to me particularly during a time when I was in dire need of additional funding & support to help keep me on track for the future."

"The grant was very impactful for me, as it helped me to pay my final fees, associated with my graduate program, so that I could finish strong. Every little bit counts, so I am very grateful to have been able to use this money to help toward that end."

VALUE OF THE GRANT

"I just want to express my sincere gratitude to the TOC Grant committee for this program as it truly helps alleviate some of the systemic socioeconomic gaps in this field that passionate therapists of color such as myself have to navigate in our journeys to becoming competent licensed mental health clinicians."

"I appreciate that this grant exists and can be applied to very easily. The gesture is meaningful and I hope other TOC are taking advantage of it."

"It really touched me. SFV chapter started giving scholarships too. I think TOC Grant was a positive influence to the therapists community."

"One additional comment I’d like to make is that it is very helpful that we are able to use the grant money at our own discretion. Removing limitations is advantageous because life happens to us all, and in order for us to be able to do our work well, sometimes we need to be able to address other situations, financially, that may directly or indirectly impact our work." 

Best regards,

The LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Committee

LA-CAMFT’s Declaration
of Inclusion, Diversity, and Anti-Racism

Psychotherapy can be transformative in a democratic society, and can open intellectual inquiry that, at its best, influences and results in lasting positive change. In recognition of our shared humanity and concern for our community and world, LA-CAMFT loudly and overtly disavows all racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, classism, ableism, ageism, and hate speech or actions that attempt to silence, threaten, and degrade others. We in LA-CAMFT leadership hereby affirm our solidarity with those individuals and groups most at risk and further declare that embracing diversity and fostering inclusivity are central to the mission of our organization.

As mental health professionals, we value critical reasoning, evidence-based arguments, self-reflection, and the imagination. We hope to inspire empathy, advocate for social and environmental justice, and provide an ethical framework for our clients, our community, and ourselves.

We in LA-CAMFT leadership are committed to:

(1) the recognition, respect, and affirmation of differences among peoples

(2) challenging oppression and structural and procedural inequities that exist in society, generally, and in local therapeutic, agency, and academic settings

(3) offering diverse programming content and presenters throughout our networking event calendar, as well as in our workshops, trainings, and special events

While we traverse the turbulent seas of the important and necessary changes taking place in our country, in order to form a “more perfect union.” we wish to convey our belief that within our community exists an immense capacity for hope. We believe in and have seen how psychotherapy, therapeutic relationships, and mental health professions can be agents of positive change, without ignoring or denying that the practice and business of psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy have historically been the cause of great harm, trauma, and emotional toll, particularly for people of color and other marginalized groups. We are committed to doing our part to help remedy that which we have the position, privilege, and/or resources to do so.

At LA-CAMFT events, all members are welcome regardless of race/ethnicity, gender identities, gender expressions, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, disabilities, religion, regional background, Veteran status, citizenship, status, nationality and other diverse identities that we each bring to our professions. We expect that leadership and members will promote an atmosphere of respect for all members of our community.

In a diverse community, the goal of inclusiveness encourages and appreciates expressions of different ideas, opinions, and beliefs, so that potentially divisive conversations and interactions become opportunities for intellectual and personal growth. LA-CAMFT leadership wants to embrace this opportunity to create and maintain inclusive and safe spaces for all of our members, free of bias, discrimination, and harassment, where people will be treated with respect and dignity and where all individuals are provided equitable opportunity to participate, contribute, and succeed.

We value your voice in this process. If you feel that our leadership or programming falls short of this commitment, we encourage you to get involved, and to begin a dialogue with those in leadership. It is undeniable that the success of LA-CAMFT relies on the participation, support, and understanding of all its members.

Wishing good health to you and yours, may you find yourself centered in feelings of abundance, safety, belonging, and peace.

Standing together,
The LA-CAMFT Board of Directors and Diversity Committee