Guest Article

The Wealthy Spirit: You Are Unique—Market It!

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert

Would you like to reframe your self-introduction?

I was introduced to networking by my insurance agent, the late Sharlee Bishin. She came by my office one day, when I had only had my bookkeeping business for about a year. 

We chatted for a bit, and she asked me, “Where are you networking?” I looked at her blankly. “What’s networking?” I asked.

Horrified, she said, “Come with me, dear,” and we were off to a dinner meeting of Women’s Referral Service, a wonderfully friendly group of supportive businesswomen (and men) founded by Nancy Sardella.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that I was doing something wrong. Every person I met asked me what kind of work I did, and I would answer, “I’m a bookkeeper.”

The reactions were swift and instantaneous. People frowned, drew back, changed the subject, or left in a hurry. As an actress, I had developed the ability to know when I had my audience’s attention and it was clear I lost it the minute I mentioned the word “bookkeeping.” No one wanted to have a conversation about that.

Something had to be done. I had heard about Gene Call, who taught the Word of Mouth Marketing class, so I signed up for it.

“You have to be interesting in thirty seconds or people will turn off, peg you in a category from which you will never escape,” he said. “Most people introduce themselves by saying, ‘I’m an accountant’ or ‘I’m an attorney.’ Boring!”

He suggested that you start by describing the benefit you provide to others: “I help people measure their financial success” (accountant) or “I help people protect their property” (insurance agent).

I started saying “I do financial stress reduction.” The difference in the reactions was truly amazing. People laughed, leaned forward, asked me, “How do you do that? Do you give away money?”

One woman threw her arms around me in a giant hug! I could tell by a person’s reaction to that one statement if they were interested in my services. So when I started teaching my course, it seemed natural to call it the Financial Stress Reduction® Workshop.

Reframe your self-introduction today. You’re not “a housewife”—you create beautiful family environments. You’re not a “mother”—you’re a loving support provider. You’re not a “teacher”—you’re a Guru. You’re not a “psychologist”—you help people find personal enlightenment. You’re not a “secretary”—you’re a business facilitator. You’re not a business- person—you’re a money-making machine!

Today’s Affirmation: “I am the most unique and beautiful me I know!”

Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expert, is the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebook—with participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com

LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee
presents

Middle Eastern North African (MENA) Therapists Community Group

First Monday of Every Month

Next Meeting:
Monday, November 3, 2025
9:30am-10:30am

Online Via Zoom

Free Registration

The MENA Therapists Community Group is a safe place across the Middle Eastern and North African therapist diaspora to build community and a sense of belonging. We hold an inclusive space to process the impact of cultural biases experienced by people of MENA descent and the effect it may have on our work as mental health professionals. Within the process, we will strive to create healing, support, and empowerment. We will collaboratively exchange ideas, experiences and resources while acknowledging cultural differences and shared similarities. As the poet Khalil Gibran states — “The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you.” — our community will create a place to be seen, heard, and understood.

Special Note: MENA Therapists Community Group meetings are intended as a place for MENA-identifying therapists to have a safe place amongst others in the same ethnic and cultural community to share and process their personal and professional experiences. Therapists from similar cultural backgrounds (e.g., South Asian, mixed identities that include MENA, etc.) are also welcome. If you are not MENA-identifying or from a similar cultural background and instead wish to join these meetings for the purpose of learning about the MENA population, we offer consultations separately. You are more than welcome to schedule a one-on-one consultation by emailing us.

Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members.

For more information, contact the facilitators at mena@lacamft.org.

Event Details:

For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

When: Monday, November 3, 2025 from 9:30am-10:30am

Where: Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

Cost: No charge

Facilitator(s): Perla and Susan

*Registration is open and available until the group begins.*

https://lacamft.org/event-5893545

Member Article

Hiding Money in Divorce: Red Flags and What You Can Do About It

Steven Unruh, MDiv, LMFT

When You Start to Suspect Something’s Not Right

You notice the numbers don’t add up. Bank statements stop arriving in the mail. There’s a “new” account you never heard of before. Suddenly, your spouse’s spending habits seem secretive — and your gut tells you something’s off.

Divorce is hard enough on its own. But realizing that your spouse may be hiding money can make you feel betrayed, powerless, and afraid of losing what’s rightfully yours.

The Problem: When Trust Breaks Down Financially

When money goes missing in a marriage headed for divorce, it creates a layered problem that affects every level of your life.

First, there’s the external problem — assets disappearing, financial records changing, and a sudden lack of transparency. You may suspect hidden accounts, underreported income, or valuable items being sold or “gifted” to friends or family. It can feel like a game you never agreed to play.

Next, there’s the internal struggle. You might find yourself questioning your own judgment — wondering if you’re paranoid or overreacting. The anxiety of not knowing what’s true can keep you up at night. Financial insecurity during divorce often triggers deep fears about your future stability and your ability to rebuild.

Finally, there’s the philosophical problem — it’s simply wrong. You worked hard for what you built together. No one should have the power to manipulate or conceal assets to gain an unfair advantage.

But it doesn’t have to stay this way. There is a fair, balanced path to uncover the truth and protect your future.

A Better Way Forward

As a a divorce mediator with more than 30 years of experience, I’ve guided hundreds of clients through complex, emotionally charged separations — including cases where one spouse tried to hide money.

What I’ve learned is that information, structure, and calm communication can make all the difference. Mediation provides a setting where financial honesty isn’t optional — it’s required. And when it’s facilitated by someone experienced in uncovering financial red flags, it becomes a path toward fairness and peace of mind.

Here are a few steps and insights to help you spot potential issues and take action.

1. Know the Red Flags

Hidden money often leaves clues. Watch for:

• Sudden changes in bank accounts or online passwords
• “Business expenses” that don’t make sense
• Unexplained withdrawals or transfers
• Bonuses, stock options, or commissions that “disappear”
• Cash-heavy spending right before or during divorce discussions

If you’re noticing any of these patterns, trust your instincts.

2. Gather and Organize Financial Records

Before making accusations, gather everything you can. Collect tax returns, bank statements, pay stubs, and retirement account summaries from the past few years. Keep copies stored safely outside the home or digitally.

In mediation, these documents become your foundation for open discussion and fair division. Facts replace assumptions, and that helps defuse tension while protecting your interests.

3. Stay Calm and Strategic

Discovering financial dishonesty triggers anger and fear — and understandably so. But reacting emotionally can work against you. Instead, approach this situation with calm, documented evidence and professional support.

In mediation, I help clients communicate these concerns clearly and productively. The goal isn’t revenge — it’s resolution.

4. Use Mediation to Create Transparency

Unlike litigation, which often fuels secrecy and hostility, mediation is built on openness. Both parties are encouraged — and often required — to share complete financial information.

Through guided conversations, we uncover the full picture together. When handled correctly, mediation can reveal hidden money, rebuild trust in the process, and ensure both parties walk away with clarity and fairness.

5. Protect Your Financial Future

Once you have the facts, we can focus on building a plan for your financial stability. This includes:

• Setting up independent accounts
• Creating a fair division of assets
• Establishing realistic support or custody arrangements
• Building a roadmap for financial recovery after divorce

By facing the truth and using a structured process, you protect not only your finances but also your peace of mind.

Common Concern: “What If My Spouse Refuses to Be Honest?”

This is one of the most common fears I hear — and it’s valid. But even when one party resists, mediation can still help. Skilled mediators use specific tools and questions to bring hidden information to light. And if a spouse refuses to cooperate entirely, the documentation you’ve gathered and the record of your efforts to mediate can be powerful in court later.

You’re not powerless. You have options — and support.

Take the First Step Toward Fairness

If you suspect your spouse is hiding money, don’t let fear or confusion control the process. You deserve honesty, clarity, and a fair outcome.

Mediation can help you uncover the truth while keeping control of your time, money, and emotional well-being. You don’t have to fight through chaos or court battles to protect what’s yours.Start by having a conversation with someone, a professional, who understands both the financial and emotional sides of divorce. 

Steven Unruh, MA, MDiv, is a Divorce Mediator and LMFT. He and his team at Unruh Mediation complete the entire divorce process, including all assets, pensions, properties, alimony and child support—along with all required documentation. Unruh Mediation files in 13 different courthouses throughout Southern California. Website: stevenunruh.com

LA-CAMFT’s Declaration
of Inclusion, Diversity, and Anti-Racism

Psychotherapy can be transformative in a democratic society, and can open intellectual inquiry that, at its best, influences and results in lasting positive change. In recognition of our shared humanity and concern for our community and world, LA-CAMFT loudly and overtly disavows all racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, classism, ableism, ageism, and hate speech or actions that attempt to silence, threaten, and degrade others. We in LA-CAMFT leadership hereby affirm our solidarity with those individuals and groups most at risk and further declare that embracing diversity and fostering inclusivity are central to the mission of our organization.

As mental health professionals, we value critical reasoning, evidence-based arguments, self-reflection, and the imagination. We hope to inspire empathy, advocate for social and environmental justice, and provide an ethical framework for our clients, our community, and ourselves.

We in LA-CAMFT leadership are committed to:

(1) the recognition, respect, and affirmation of differences among peoples

(2) challenging oppression and structural and procedural inequities that exist in society, generally, and in local therapeutic, agency, and academic settings

(3) offering diverse programming content and presenters throughout our networking event calendar, as well as in our workshops, trainings, and special events

While we traverse the turbulent seas of the important and necessary changes taking place in our country, in order to form a “more perfect union.” we wish to convey our belief that within our community exists an immense capacity for hope. We believe in and have seen how psychotherapy, therapeutic relationships, and mental health professions can be agents of positive change, without ignoring or denying that the practice and business of psychiatry, psychology, and psychotherapy have historically been the cause of great harm, trauma, and emotional toll, particularly for people of color and other marginalized groups. We are committed to doing our part to help remedy that which we have the position, privilege, and/or resources to do so.

At LA-CAMFT events, all members are welcome regardless of race/ethnicity, gender identities, gender expressions, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, disabilities, religion, regional background, Veteran status, citizenship, status, nationality and other diverse identities that we each bring to our professions. We expect that leadership and members will promote an atmosphere of respect for all members of our community.

In a diverse community, the goal of inclusiveness encourages and appreciates expressions of different ideas, opinions, and beliefs, so that potentially divisive conversations and interactions become opportunities for intellectual and personal growth. LA-CAMFT leadership wants to embrace this opportunity to create and maintain inclusive and safe spaces for all of our members, free of bias, discrimination, and harassment, where people will be treated with respect and dignity and where all individuals are provided equitable opportunity to participate, contribute, and succeed.

We value your voice in this process. If you feel that our leadership or programming falls short of this commitment, we encourage you to get involved, and to begin a dialogue with those in leadership. It is undeniable that the success of LA-CAMFT relies on the participation, support, and understanding of all its members.

Wishing good health to you and yours, may you find yourself centered in feelings of abundance, safety, belonging, and peace.

Standing together,
The LA-CAMFT Board of Directors and Diversity Committee