Los Angeles Chapter  California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists


Voices — December 2025

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  • 11/19/2025 1:20 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)
    President's Message

    Akiah Selwa, LMFT, President

    The end of the year is almost here, and I have to say—this is truly my favorite season as an LA-CAMFT member! Before we gather for our Annual Holiday Party on December 7th, we have another exciting opportunity: voting for our excellent candidates who are eager to serve on the LA-CAMFT board in 2026. Voting opens November 10th and runs through November 14th. Don't miss your chance to help choose our new board members for the coming year!

    Akiah T. R. Selwa, LMFT, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a great sense of humor, a heart full of hope, and twenty-three years of experience as a psychotherapist. Akiah is the owner of Sunrise Therapy Center (STC) a private practice corporation that services all of California via a telehealth platform. Akiah approaches her work with cultural humility and humor that promotes acceptance, empowerment, spirituality, and creativity. Akiah will complete Somatic Experiencing training in 2025 with Somatic Experiencing International, is a certified SoulCollage® Facilitator (2024), and a currently in a two-year Spiritual Direction program with Stillpoint. When Akiah is not working as a therapist, she is a mixed media artist, having fun with my next crochet project, singing, or exploring nature.

  • 11/19/2025 1:19 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)


    Come Celebrate the Season with Us!

    Annual Holiday Party 2025

    Sunday, December 7, 2025

    12:00pm-3:00pm

    At and Sponsored by

    Join LA-CAMFT for our ANNUAL HOLIDAY PARTY on December 7th from 12:00pm-3:00pm at the beautiful Clearview Treatment Programs facilities in Venice.

    All are invited to come gather together in celebration of another year for our community!

    Please join us for delicious food, laughter, and musical merriment with your LA-CAMFT friends and colleagues. If you want to bring something, let us know!

    We will have our yearly rite of passage for our Newly Licensed MFTs. It is one of our most special LA-CAMFT rituals that welcome the newly licensed into the community. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE AN LA-CAMFT MEMBER TO PARTICIPATE!

    If you received your license in 2025, and you would like to be a part of this ceremony, PLEASE let me know by emailing and registering for our Holiday Party. Many of us have been through that process, and we know what it takes to get through it. We want to celebrate and support you!

    Come meet our current and newly elected LA-CAMFT Board of Directors, and community leaders!

    Registration fee goes towards food, beverages, and health/safety considerations. If this fee is cost-prohibitive, we would still like to find a way for you to join us, please email me.

    If you have an emergency/health issue on the day of the event and you’ve already registered, please email.

    We are so excited and look forward to seeing you there!

    Jennifer Stonefield, LMFT

    LA-CAMFT Past President and Event Organizer

    Event Details:

    When: Sunday, December 7, 2025 from 12:00-3:00pm (check-in 11:30am)

    Where: Clearview Treatment Programs (911 Coeur D'Alene Avenue, Venice, CA 90291)

    Cost: $15 for LA-CAMFT Members
              $10 for Prelicensed Members
              $20 for Non-Members
             [$25 Late Registration (for all)]

    *Registration closes Wednesday, December 3, 2025 for final headcount. Late registration available 12/4-12/6.*

    https://lacamft.org/event-6416831

  • 11/19/2025 1:19 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)
    Editor's Note

    Getting Paid: Tips for Preventing and Managing Burnout as a Therapist

    Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, Voices Editor

    Burnout is a hot topic for therapists these days since many mental health practitioners face daily challenges like excessive caseloads, long working hours and limited control over their schedules. As professionals in a demanding field, therapists need to remember to take care of themselves especially when they are overworked and stressed.

    Self-care is not a luxury for therapists, it's a necessity—and this skillset, and professional practice, is an essential part of maintaining our well-being, our clinical practice, and preventing burnout. When therapists ignore the signs of burnout it can result in decreased performance and loss of joy in our work. Let’s make sure this doesn’t happen or when it does, let’s address it as soon as we can!

    Here are some practical, supportive tips, and inspiration, for your professional self-care tool kit. These tips, highlights and inspiration have been selected from articles that have been useful to those who do practice coaching, training, supervision, and consultation with me. I promise you will feel hopeful and optimistic when you read them. They are practical and doable things that don’t cost a fortune or take a lot of time.

    Links to the articles are included.

    While the tips and highlights from each article do include a few of the usual exhortations to take breaks/vacations/time off from your practice, read them more closely because they are very supportive, and validating of therapist stressors and challenges to making those things happen.

    Top Tips & Highlights from each article…….

    1. Therapist Burnout: Signs, Causes, and Tips to Prevent it

    Courtney Gardner, MSW

    Burnout—It’s Not A Permanent Condition

    Experiencing burnout can be a daunting challenge, but it's essential to know that it's not a permanent condition. There are many highly effective strategies can help prevent and overcome burnout. Some of the most efficient techniques for avoiding and managing burnout are relatively easy to apply and can yield significant results. With time and patience, you can recover and return to your optimal self.

    Jumpstart Your Self-Care Routine to Avoid Burnout

    As a therapist, it is imperative to prioritize self-care to avoid burnout. You should make self-care a habit and a priority in your life instead of considering it an afterthought.

    Prioritizing self-care will help you prevent burnout and enable you to assist your clients from a place of renewal. Take the time to explore activities that help you relax and soothe, and include them in your routine. Although it may be difficult to start implementing self-care strategies, it is essential to remember that your physical and mental health, as well as your ability to care for others, depend on it.

    Connect with Other Therapists for Support

    As a therapist, it's crucial to establish connections with other professionals who can relate to the demands and pressures of your job.

    The lack of social support can be a significant factor contributing to therapist burnout, emphasizing the importance of fostering connections within the professional community.

    Consider joining a local professional organization or support group, or talk to your colleagues to create a robust support system to help you combat feelings of isolation and burnout. Don't hesitate to lean on each other for self-care tips or to vent when needed. Engaging with like-minded professionals is essential for your well-being and longevity in this field.

    2. How to Manage Private Practice Burnout

    Zencare Team

    Take a hard look at what is and what isn’t crucial for running your own business.

    Running your own business can be challenging, and chances are you enjoy certain aspects of it more than others. Do an inventory of what professional activities and habits might be contributing to your burnout, and ask yourself what you can delegate or move off your plate entirely.

    Consider the following domains of private practice management that can impact how much free time you have: Billing services, investing in practice management software, hire an office manager, dealing with insurance panels, correspondence and documentation; renting your own office space, office sharing; a jam-packed schedule.

    3. 6 Ways to Manage Private Practice Burnout

    Christi Gorbett

    Nobody said that being a therapist would be easy. As a therapist, your attention is constantly focused on the needs of others, which can be draining. When you add the stress of owning a private practice to an already challenging profession the odds of becoming burned out increase significantly.

    Network with Other Therapists

    It's also vital that you have access to a supportive professional network to help you deal with the symptoms of burnout.

    When you talk with other therapists, including your own, you'll soon find out that you're not alone; many other mental health professionals have struggled with similar feelings and can help you process what you're going through and support you as you heal.

    Give It Time

    Don't expect that burnout will resolve itself quickly. This condition didn't develop overnight which means it's going to take some time to recover completely. By making conscious lifestyle changes, delegating non-therapeutic tasks, tapping into a strong support network, and allow yourself time to heal, you'll once again find joy and satisfaction in your work.

    Overcoming Burnout: A Journey Towards Fulfillment and Balance

    Remember as a therapist your well-being is not just essential for you but also for the clients you serve. Prioritizing your needs, incorporating joy into your daily life, connecting with your community of therapists, and allowing for recovery time can restore your enthusiasm and dedication towards your profession. Burnout may seem like an insurmountable mountain but with patience, persistence, and the right strategies, it's one that can be conquered.

    Enjoy these articles and tips as you continue on your journey of having the best life and practice that you can imagine for yourself. All is possible.

    Lynne Azpeitia, LMFT, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, is in private practice virtually, and in Santa Monica where she works with Couples and Gifted, Talented & Creative Adults across the lifespan. Lynne’s been doing business and clinical coaching with mental health professionals for more than 15 years, helping therapists create even more successful careers and practices. She offers in-person & online services, workshops, presentations, & monthly no-cost Online Networking & Practice Development Lunches. Website: www.Gifted-Adults.com or www.LAPracticeDevelopment.com

  • 11/19/2025 1:18 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)
    Therapists of Color (TOC) Grant Award Committee

    TOC Grant Awardees & Next Drawing for the Grant Award

    Marvin Whistler, Mediator, TOC Grant Award Committee Chair

    On November 2, 2025, the most recent awardees of the LA-CAMFT TOC GRANT AWARD were randomly selected. They are LaRitha Vaughn and Jenny Perez. Each will receive a check for $530, and free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events except for the Law & Ethics Workshop.

    The next cycle for the grant will begin on January 2, 2026.  It is limited to current pre-licensed or student members of LA-CAMFT, and the award is limited to once per calendar year. At the end of this article, there is an update on the impact that the award has had on awardees and their thoughts on its value.

    Description of Grant Stipend

    Every 4 months (3x per year), a grant award will be offered to two applicants who meet the following criteria: (1) must be a current LA-CAMFT member, (2) identify as a Therapist of Color, and (3) must be either an Associate, Trainee, or Student still in graduate school.

    Grant winners will receive

    • $530 to be spent at the winner’s discretion
    • Free admission to 3 LA-CAMFT workshops or networking events of the winner’s choosing with the exception of the Law & Ethics Workshop.

    The $530 award can be used at the recipient’s discretion based on their own individual needs (whether it be for BBS fees, testing materials, memberships, rent, groceries, etc.). Confirmation for the purpose that the money is used will not be required.

    Application and Selection Process

    Interested members can complete the application on the LA-CAMFT website. The selection process entails using a Randomized Generator of the applicants who met the full criteria and complete the application online to take out human bias and decrease activation of one's trauma history. The drawing will be recorded via Zoom and posted onto social media along with an announcement naming the grant winners, whom will also be contacted via email directly.

    Registration for the next award cycle will open on January 2, 2026 and will close on February 22, 2026.

    The drawing will take place on February 23, 2026.

    Awardees' thoughts on the LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Award

    IMPACT OF THE GRANT

    "It was very helpful. I was poor when I was an AMFT."

    "The grant was very impactful as it eased the burden of some of the costs associated with the MFT process (training and supplies, L&E study materials, etc.)! The grant provided relief and helped finances feel less constrained as a trainee and now Associate." 

    "I found the grant very helpful to me particularly during a time when I was in dire need of additional funding & support to help keep me on track for the future."

    "The grant was very impactful for me, as it helped me to pay my final fees, associated with my graduate program, so that I could finish strong. Every little bit counts, so I am very grateful to have been able to use this money to help toward that end."

    VALUE OF THE GRANT

    "I just want to express my sincere gratitude to the TOC Grant committee for this program as it truly helps alleviate some of the systemic socioeconomic gaps in this field that passionate therapists of color such as myself have to navigate in our journeys to becoming competent licensed mental health clinicians."

    "I appreciate that this grant exists and can be applied to very easily. The gesture is meaningful and I hope other TOC are taking advantage of it."

    "It really touched me. SFV chapter started giving scholarships too. I think TOC Grant was a positive influence to the therapists community." 

    "One additional comment I’d like to make is that it is very helpful that we are able to use the grant money at our own discretion. Removing limitations is advantageous because life happens to us all, and in order for us to be able to do our work well, sometimes we need to be able to address other situations, financially, that may directly or indirectly impact our work." 

    Best regards,

    The LA-CAMFT TOC Grant Committee

  • 11/19/2025 1:17 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)


    LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee
    presents

    Middle Eastern North African (MENA) Therapists Community Group

    First Monday of Every Month

    Next Meeting:
    Monday, December 1, 2025
    9:30am-10:30am

    Online Via Zoom

    Free Registration

    The MENA Therapists Community Group is a safe place across the Middle Eastern and North African therapist diaspora to build community and a sense of belonging. We hold an inclusive space to process the impact of cultural biases experienced by people of MENA descent and the effect it may have on our work as mental health professionals. Within the process, we will strive to create healing, support, and empowerment. We will collaboratively exchange ideas, experiences and resources while acknowledging cultural differences and shared similarities. As the poet Khalil Gibran states — “The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you.” — our community will create a place to be seen, heard, and understood.

    Special Note: MENA Therapists Community Group meetings are intended as a place for MENA-identifying therapists to have a safe place amongst others in the same ethnic and cultural community to share and process their personal and professional experiences. Therapists from similar cultural backgrounds (e.g., South Asian, mixed identities that include MENA, etc.) are also welcome. If you are not MENA-identifying or from a similar cultural background and instead wish to join these meetings for the purpose of learning about the MENA population, we offer consultations separately. You are more than welcome to schedule a one-on-one consultation by emailing us.

    Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members.

    For more information, contact the facilitators at mena@lacamft.org.

    Event Details:

    For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

    When: Monday, December 1, 2025 from 9:30am-10:30am

    Where: Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

    Cost: No charge

    Facilitator(s): Perla and Susan

    *Registration is open and available until the group begins.*


  • 11/19/2025 1:16 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    Member Article

    Discouragement Versus Depression in Midlife Women

    Joanna Poppink, LMFT

    Discouragement versus depression in midlife women: The difference can shape how you understand your emotions and your healing path. Discouragement is a temporary emotional response to frustration or loss, while depression is a deeper withdrawal of vitality that signals psychological and spiritual distress. Knowing this difference helps you recognize when your struggle is part of ordinary discouragement—and when it has become depression that needs care.

    Discouragement: A Temporary Shadow

    Discouragement is part of being alive. It comes when effort meets resistance — when your hopes and reality collide. You may feel deflated when a project stalls, a relationship falters, or your energy falls short. Yet even in discouragement, you care. You still want to move forward, even if you need to rest first.

    Discouragement usually lifts with time, understanding, or a sense of connection. A conversation with a trusted friend, a walk outdoors, or a new perspective can restore your balance. Life re-enters your body. (If you want more on exhaustion that doesn’t fix itself with a good night’s sleep.

    Depression: When Vitality Withdraws

    Depression is different. It’s not about one disappointment — it colors everything. You may feel detached, fatigued, or hopeless, as if life has moved far away. You might sleep too much or too little, lose interest in what once brought joy, or wonder who you are now.

    Depth psychology understands depression as a withdrawal of psychic energy — a retreat of the soul when the outer life no longer supports the inner truth. It isn’t a weakness. The psyche attempts to protect, regroup, and point toward change. (For a clinical description of common depression symptoms, you can read the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health’s overview of depression.)

    This is often where midlife women say, quietly, “Something in me is shutting down.” Shutting down is more than just sadness. It’s loss of vitality.

    How to Tell the Difference Between Discouragement and Depression

    Here is a way to sense where you are:

    Discouragement

    Depression

    Caused by a specific loss or setback

    Persists beyond any clear reason

    You still feel moments of hope

    Hope feels unreachable

    Energy returns with rest or encouragement

    Energy remains low despite effort

    The world still feels real and engaging

    Life feels distant and meaningless

    If low mood lasts more than two weeks, if daily functioning suffers, or if pleasure feels impossible, you may be moving from discouragement into depression. That shift — the difference between discouragement and depression in midlife women — is the point where it’s time to reach for help, not “push through.”

    Emotional Companions: Envy, Jealousy, Sad Nostalgia

    Discouragement and depression rarely travel alone. They bring other emotional states that can confuse you or shame you.

    Envy
    Envy can flare when you see someone thriving in a way you crave — creative work, intimacy, freedom. In discouragement, envy can sting but still points forward. It shows you what you long to live. In depression, envy can harden into self-blame: “I’ll never have that.”

    Jealousy
    Jealousy appears when you fear being replaced or forgotten. In discouragement, jealousy can motivate honest conversation and repair. In depression, jealousy often fades into numbness. You stop feeling worth protecting.

    Sad nostalgia
    Sad nostalgia looks backward. You long for a time when you felt more alive. In discouragement, nostalgia can warm you and remind you of possibility. In depression, it can lock you in the belief that life’s meaning is already behind you.

    These emotions are not failures. They are signals.

    Healing and Renewal

    Discouragement calls for patience and perspective.
    Depression calls for understanding and accompaniment.

    Psychotherapy offers a space to explore what the depression is asking for — rest, truth, limits, change, grief, or an honest confrontation with how you’ve been living. For more about this approach, see Depth-Oriented Psychotherapy for Midlife Women.

    FAQ

    How can I tell if I’m depressed or just discouraged?
    If your low mood is temporary and tied to a clear event, it’s likely discouragement. If it persists, numbs joy, and affects your daily life, depression may be present.

    Can discouragement turn into depression?
    Yes. When discouragement isn’t processed — when you keep pushing yourself instead of tending to your emotional needs — it can deepen into depression.

    Does depression have a psychological purpose?
    From a depth-psychological view, yes. Depression can signal that something in you requires transformation. The energy that feels gone is often gathering to return in a more honest form.

    How does therapy help?
    Therapy provides a steady, confidential space to uncover what the depression is asking for. Healing begins when your inner voice is heard, not dismissed.

    Resources

    Websites/Articles

    Books
    Calhoun, Ada. Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis. Grove Press, 2020.
    Burns, David D. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Harper, revised edition.

    Joanna Poppink, LMFT, psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder, is in private practice and specializes in Eating Disorder Recovery for adult women and with an emphasis on building a fulfilling life beyond recovery. She is licensed in California, Florida, Oregon, and Utah. All appointments are virtual. Website: EatingDisorderRecovery.net

  • 11/19/2025 1:16 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)


    LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee

    presents

    Black Therapist Support Group

    Second Monday of Every Month

    Next Meeting:
    Monday, December 8, 2025
    6:00 pm-7:30 pm (PT)

    Online Via Zoom

    A safe place for healing, connection, support and building community. In this group, licensed clinicians, associates and students can come together and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of African descent encounter in the field of mental health. As the late great Maya Angelou once said, “As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal someone else.” May this space, be the support needed to facilitate that journey.

    Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members.

    For more information, contact the Diversity Committee.

    Event Details:

    For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

    When: Monday, December 8, 2025, 6:00 pm-7:30 pm (PT)
    Time of Check-In: 5:50 pm

    Where: Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

    Cost: No charge

    *Registration is open and available until the group begins.*

    https://lacamft.org/event-5999262

  • 11/19/2025 1:15 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    Member Article

    Getting More Referrals by Connecting with Your Ideal Client, Part 2

    Frances Barry, LMFT

    In my previous Voices article, I wrote about reframing the concept of an ideal client from a nebulous “perfect” or “best” client to those you feel most compelled to support.

    Your ideal client is who you are meant to help in this world.

    Therapists sometimes resist the idea of the ideal client as they believe it may prevent them from:

    • Engaging with different populations.
    • Working with a range of symptoms.
    • Filling their practice.

    But having an ideal client isn’t about focusing on one type of client for your entire career.

    You can have multiple ideal clients (I have three) and they can change over time.

    When I launched my private practice, my clients ranged in age from four to eighty years old with a wide variety of life experiences and symptoms. After a couple of years, I noticed how much more connected I felt to my younger clients. I made the decision to dedicate my practice solely to minors.

    Today, I have three ideal clients:

    • Elementary school boys with frequent and intense angry outbursts.
    • Elementary school girls experiencing high levels of anxiety in multiple settings.
    • Children and adolescents who have lost a parent to cancer.

    Although my ideal clients fall within the one age group of minors, the ideal clients for one therapist can be from a variety of age groups, such as teens, adults and seniors or a narrow age range, such as young adults. Although age is very often one ideal client descriptor, it may not be the most significant.

    Other important characteristics can include:

    • Racial, cultural, sexual or gender identities.
    • Life experiences such as serving in a combat zone, childhood abuse or a high-conflict divorce.
    • Mental health challenges such as panic attacks, depressive episodes or phobias.

    My decision to focus my practice on minors was one I drifted towards over a few years. In contrast, I arrived at the descriptions of my current ideal clients with a systematic review of my client files to identify the very specific subpopulations I felt most drawn to at that time.

    I know my ideal clients will continue to evolve overtime. One reason is my age. Today, I am more likely to be exhausted after a physically active session than I was a couple of years ago. I am also feeling pulled towards running groups for children and working with couples to better prepare them for parenthood.

    Your ideal clients may evolve due to a change in circumstances, environment, maturity, interests or training.

    • Experiencing the benefits of EMDR may inspire you to become a certified EMDR practitioner.
    • Losing a loved one may lead you to focus more on grief work.
    • Having a child may require changing your schedule, resulting in an ideal client change.
    • A family member in recovery may draw you into helping clients struggling with addiction.

    Your ideal clients today may not be the same as your ideal clients in two years.   

    When I made the first step towards working only with minors, it was a difficult decision. I was afraid I wouldn’t find enough clients to pay the bills. I still remember my discomfort at unselecting the age group “adults” on my Psychology Today profile. However, the outcomes of my decision were all positive.

    When you know who your ideal client is, your marketing efforts can be more targeted and relevant--I’ll be addressing this, and more--in greater detail in my series of Voices articles on “Connecting with Your Ideal Client.”

    Identifying your ideal clients takes time and patience but it is worth the effort. And, by evolving your ideal client by evaluating your caseload and reflecting on your experiences every couple of years, you can maintain a greater sense of satisfaction and purpose in the very important work you do as a therapist.

    Frances Barry, LMFT is in private practice in West Los Angeles where she works with Elementary School Children struggling with Anger and Anxiety. She also supports minors who have lost a parent to cancer. As a statistician-turned-therapist, Frances’s data-driven insights and recommendations, empower therapists to optimize their Psychology Today profile one step (or one statistic) at a time. Website: www.francesbarry.net

  • 11/19/2025 1:14 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)


    LA-CAMFT Diversity Committee

    presents

    Therapists of Color Support Group

    Meets Every Quarter

    Next Meeting:
    Sunday, January 2026
    11:00 am-1:00 pm (PT)

    Online Via Zoom

    A safe place to receive peer support and process experiences of racism (systemic, social, and internalized), discrimination, implicit bias, racist injury, aggression, and micro-aggressions, along with additional experiences that therapists of color encounter in the field of mental health.

      Open to LA-CAMFT Members and Non-Members.

      For more information, contact the Diversity Committee.

      Event Details:

      For: Licensed Therapists, Associates, and Students

      Event Details: Sunday, January 2025 from 11:00 am-1:00 pm (PT)
      Time of Check-In: 10:50 am

      Where:  Online Via Zoom (Upon registration for the presentation, you will receive a confirmation email that includes a link to our Zoom meeting.)

      Cost: No charge

      *Registration is open and available until the group begins.*


      In diversity there is beauty
      and there is strength.

      Maya Angelou

      Stay tuned!

      https://lacamft.org/Diversity-Committee

    1. 11/19/2025 1:13 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

      Guest Article

      Suit Up, Show Up, And…

      Chellie Campbell, Financial StresReduction Expert

      We pay too much attention to our feelings. We want to feel like making that cold call before we make it. We want to feel love for our fellow man before we donate to charity. We want to feel joy in our work before we work. When we don’t feel these things, we don’t make the call, love humanity or do the work. But we’ve got it backwards.

      The feelings we want come after we take the action, not before.

      We need to take the action that we know is the right action, regardless of how we feel about it. We can be terrified, angry, humiliated, sad, tired, or depressed, fighting our mental battles against doing what we know to be right, but the end result is that it doesn’t matter how we feel about it, what matters is that we do the right thing.

      In Alcoholics Anonymous, they have a wonderful saying about this: “Suit up and show up.” This is the instruction given to newcomers who are struggling with the new practice of being sober. Alcoholics often struggle with emotions that feel overwhelming when they no longer have the alcohol to escape into. If you asked them to “feel like going to an AA meeting” before they went to one, the room would probably be empty. So the instruction is “Suit up and show up”—just get dressed and go. How you feel about it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you do it.

      When I made the decision that I was powerless over alcohol and became willing to turn my life around, they told me to go to ninety meetings in ninety days. I laughed. “Do you know what my schedule is like?” I asked incredulously. “I run my own business and I’m president of a trade organization. Impossible! Surely my case is different.” They smiled at me beatifically. “This is what you have to do to remain sober,” they told me. “How do you know?” I protested. “We’re sober and you’re not,” they replied. “If you want what we have, you have to do what we do.”

      I wanted what they had. I wanted it bad. I went to their damn ninety meetings in ninety days. I didn’t feel like it. But I got sober. I liked that. And I liked how I felt about it after I did it.

      To “Suit up and show up” I have added “and shut up.” When I was going to the midnight meeting on Sunset Boulevard, I whined about it. When I had to get up early and make the 7:00 A.M. meeting in Pacific Palisades, I whined about that, too. No one was interested.

      Shine the cold, clear light of objective reason on the passage of your life. What’s not in it that you want? Go get it. Forget how you feel now. The good feelings come after you do it. That is the secret of becoming happy, joyous, and free. And rich.

      Years ago, during one of the first Financial Stress Reduction workshops I ever taught, a woman in my class had a very rich “aha!” experience. Susan was an executive recruiter, bright, fun, and with a sense of ease about her. We were discussing how we worked our businesses, and she mentioned that she just worked until she made a good placement for which she was very well paid, and then took time off to play.

      “Hmmm,” I thought, “She’s in my class to make more money. I wonder if she just stops herself when she’s made the money she thinks is enough.” So I asked her what she thought would happen if she kept going and maybe made another placement instead of stopping at the first one. Her eyes got big and round and I could tell she hadn’t thought of that before.

      “I don’t know!” she exclaimed.

      I said, “This week, keep going and see what happens.”

      The next week she announced to the class that she made $35,000 that week, and that she had no idea she was capable of making that much money.

      I thought of this story one week when I was calling people about my Financial Stress Reduction teleclasses. I had a lot of “maybes” on my list – people I had talked to who were thinking it over, wanted to read more about the details of the class on my web site, check out the testimonials, checking their schedules, etc. I had plenty of people coming – I’m happy and make my budget goals if I get 6 or 7 people in each of the sessions – 10-15 people is fine. So usually, I just stop there…but then I remembered Susan’s story. What might happen if I just made a few more calls to follow up again with the interested parties who hadn’t yet committed?

      You guessed it. I enrolled 7 more people, for a total of 22. At $3,000 per person, 7 more people equals another $21,000! I can think of some things to do with that extra money, too – couldn’t you?

      What would happen for you and your budget if you just pushed yourself a little harder at the end, that surge of energy that a championship runner feels at the end of the race that pushes him over the finish line first?

      Just this week, go for it! And let me know what happens.

      Chellie Campbell, Financial Stress Reduction Expertis the author of bestselling books The Wealthy Spirit, Zero to Zillionaire, and From Worry to Wealthy: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Success Without the Stress. She has been treating Money Disorders like Spending Bulimia and Income Anorexia in her Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops for over 25 years and is still speaking, writing, and teaching workshops—now as Zoom classes and The Wealthy Spirit Group on Facebookwith participants from all over the world. Website: www.chellie.com

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